No Drama

I have a tendency to say too much at times.  Now for those of you who know me, you probably think – “now that’s an understatement.”  In general I am not overly outspoken in that harsh old lady Maxine-ish sort of way.  However, sometimes the emotion of an issue causes me to say too much.  When I do that then, I get caught up in all sorts of drama.  I really don’t like that.  Today I want to talk about the daughter who has given me no drama.

My youngest daughter has been very clear-I am forbidden from using her name on the internet.  I suppose when she’s rich and famous she doesn’t want my words to come back to haunt her.  She did say I could write about her, just not use her name.  Today I’ll just call her baby girl.  If she were from a culture that gave names based on characteristics, her name might be “no drama.” 

When she was born I had already observed a disturbing pattern on our family.  I have a lot of kids.  For years they came fast too – not much time in between.  Soon, the newest infant needing my fulltime attention would arrive.  The older children helped some with the younger ones.  My husband was the year round perpetual Santa Claus always saying yes to everything and opening his wallet regularly.  That left me to turn my attention to the newest child, to worry about bills, and to provide some structure and discipline.  Children usually get all warm and fuzzy with the parent who indulges them.  I didn’t have that luxury of being the indulgent parent.  By the time baby girl came along, I decide I was going to be her main indulger.  I knew she was the last one and I wanted a child to spoil.

She had the most expensive clothes.  I picked out the top of the line stroller and high chair.  I was ready.  I was going to spoil her.  And I did.  I didn’t spoil her “rotten” as we say in the West.  I’ve learned that probably you can’t spoil a child unless you are a millionaire who uses money in place of love.  Everyone always said I was spoiled “rotten” because my mother didn’t make me wash dishes when I was kid.  However, she did make me clean the toilet every week.  I wasn’t spoiled.  I digress…. By the time she had come along I had been to Pakistan and seen children totally indulged with no discipline turning into very respectful loving adults.  That really puzzled me.  Still does.  However, I was ready to give it a try and indulge baby girl.

Let me make it clear, I have a lot to be proud of with ALL of my children.  I love them all very much.  But this is about baby girl today.  Baby girl is unique.  I don’t know if it had anything to do with indulging her.  I think she was just born this way.  She is unique because she’s rarely made me cry.  She often brightens my day with her soft voice asking if I’m okay.  She listens when I go on and on about life.  She still lights up when I make her vegan food.  I’ve not have to search for her throughout the wee hours of the morning.  I’ve never had to go to court or the police station for her. I've never worried if she were dead or alive.  I got to share in her prom excitement.  She still asks my opinion and sometimes listens to my advice.  She is “no drama.” 

Today I’m thinking about her upcoming move.  She’s decided to get an apartment.  She’s old enough both in years and in maturity I suppose.  I’ll miss my baby girl when my nest is empty.  Her wings are strong and she’s promised to come home often.  Whatever she does, I know she’ll do well.  I’ll still indulge her every chance I get and pray for her.  Today is a good day for no drama.