Sounds of Hope

It’s been a very long time since we had the patter of little feet in our home.  Even the youngest grandchild’s feet don’t patter anymore.  They run and jump.  I live too far away to hear the patter of my great granddaughter’s little feet.  But for several days now, I’m hearing the sliding and shuffling of feet in flip flops.  It reminds me of when those feet pattered.  I’ve been traveling.  Nothing new for me I guess.  However, of late, I’ve done less.  I visited a church I called home for many years.   I wrote about my visit the other day.  It was wonderful.  More wonderful was seeing friends.  And the most wonderful of all was seeing three of my gorgeous daughters.   I am blessed to have five gorgeous daughters.  The eldest and the youngest I get to see with regularity as we live in the same area.  These daughters, I hardly get to see.  I know they don’t realize how much it grieves their mo...

Everyone has a mother.   Probably most people would say their relationship with their mother was complicated.   I honestly don’t know any mother who is totally worthy of sainthood, except for maybe someone like Mother Teresa.   Yes, she would count.   Not to minimize her in any way, but remember, she never gave birth to a child.   For that reason, she really doesn’t count. I think all mothers need huge doses of grace.   I think our perfect mother, Mother Teresa depended on those huge downloads of God’s grace too.   I remember my mother would say often, “Lord, give me patience.”   I am told that as a child I would repeat her statement saying “Lord give me a patience.”    My relationship with my mother was typical.   It was typical in that it wasn’t perfect.   This is my second Mother’s Day since she went home to be with Jesus.   I know she is happy to be home.   In her later years, probably the last 20, we heard over...

It’s been a long time since I was excited about Easter.  From a spiritual perspective, I always am thankfully excited about Resurrection Sunday.  But Easter as a holiday has been very flat for a long, long time.  I reminisced about my childhood Easters on Kingdom Bloggers this week.  You can read it here . Earlier this week I told you about sewing at midnight for my children.  I’ve told you about the Easter that my oldest son Nathan was dedicated to the Lord .  Easter does hold many precious memories.  However, I honestly can’t remember when was the last time we really celebrated the holiday of Easter.  I am preparing to grill out tomorrow.  I always have to remember that here in the south if you say you are going to Barbeque it means something entirely different.  My daughter and her children are coming.  Our other two children that live in the area will be here.  I’m excited.  I bought some treats for the kids. Shh, d...

I have often told myself that I am silly for feeling the way I do.  Maybe I am.  Maybe I am not.  The older I get the less judgmental I get about myself and everyone else.  I have been learning to “be.”  To accept who I am.  I don’t think it is unique to want to feel special and loved.  Last night I felt special and loved. Yesterday was my 33 rd wedding anniversary.  It started pretty much the same as any other day.  I was sick, which actually isn’t that unusual on our anniversary since it comes at the peak of flu season.  I don’t have the flu but I am sick.  I’m coughing and coughing and feel miserable.  I had been up late waiting for my husband, hoping to see his reaction to the anniversary present I got for him.  I wrote about it here . He came home that night with an odd but beautiful assortment of flowers.  I’ve arranged them on my dining room table.  They are pretty.  At midnight, the beginning of o...

I came through the back door of my house last night with some groceries.   We’d been to Publix grocery store that I’ve written about before .   It’s nice to have a choice in grocery stores.   I even have a grocery store directly across the street from me but at the same time I can see deer, wild turkey, cardinals, robins, and eagles in my back yard.   I have daffodils and crocus in my front yard.   I’m home. It washed over me last night like a gentle breeze on a warm night.   I was home.   Not only was I home, but I had a home.   Not two places where I live, but a home.   The living room looks nice.   I could actually feel comfortable inviting you to come, sit, and have coffee with me.   The kitchen has a ways to go but looks good already.   The dining room has further to go but you’d overlook that because you know I just moved back.   Of course you’d have to navigate past the bags and boxes of trash waiting for the dump....

What a weekend!   I feel like I am paying for some horrible sins – perhaps the sin of not liking South Dakota OR maybe it is the curse that people who never understood put on my exit from South Dakota.   As with all experiences of this type, you do learn.   The best thing I learned – something I did already know but was reminded of this weekend, is that my daughter Bethany is amazing.   I don’t know anyone else, family or otherwise, who would sacrifice and do what she did for us this weekend.   We had a grueling trip to South Dakota and back.   We out beat the blizzard that dumped 11 inches on Brookings SD.   We spent about 62 hours on the road covering about 2000 miles.   In between the    hours and hours in the car, and the little bit of sleep, we packed our two bedroom apartment in South Dakota and loaded it on a truck and trailer.   To say that she and her family did 95% of the work is no exaggeration.   We stopp...

Heavy snow is coming down today.  It is reminding me of a Christmas in Brooklyn. One of my favorite people when I was a child was my “Tante Bitta.”  She was actually not my Aunt or Tante, she was my cousin.  However, like all of my first cousins on my father’s side, she was an adult when I was born and had children my age.  Out of respect, I called her Tante.  When I was little I couldn’t say her name Birgit; in my childish pronunciation she became Bitta.  We saw her and her family only occasionally until they moved within walking distance.  What a happy day that was!  Her eldest daughter and I became best friends. So many things I could write about her daughter and I.  After putting 75 cents in the cigarette machine, we’d puff away for a few hours.   Believing we’d rather “fight that switch” after a brief usage of Marlboros we became Tareyton smokers.  Doused in perfume, with gum in our mouths we'd try to cover ...

When I was a college student, I worked at the Center for Research in Social Behavior on the University of Missouri campus. I needed a work-study job. They needed someone to do some clerical work. I would work with a social gerontologist. I was planning to go to grad school in sociology. I was interested in gerontology. This was perfect. I applied. They accepted me. I loved it. They were some of the first people who took me seriously and thought I had potential. I was single welfare mother with three small children trying to “make something” of myself. Single mothers were more of a rarity then. Most people saw me as “low-life.” The doctoral student working for the social gerontologist was my “boss.” She had an apartment somewhere but usually slept on the floor in her office in the old Tudor-style building on Stewart Road. She had a hot plate surrounded by cans of beans and spaghetti-o's and lots of peanut butter. I often wondered if she really did have an apartment. She was...

I’m really not that old. I don’t usually tell my age because I am now old enough to be sensitive about it. I will tell you this, I am not eligible for senior discounts or free coffee. I am old enough to be a member of AARP although I am not. I got started with reproduction very early. In a few days that son will have a birthday. We have all sorts of interesting statistics in our family like this one, my oldest son is closer in age to me than he is to his youngest sibling. He and I are 17 years apart. He and his sister are 21 years apart. Having eight children, and one miscarriage, I have been pregnant for about 6 ¼ years. Add to that another 6 years for breastfeeding, my body was busy. I have fourteen grandchildren plus one who is in heaven. I became a grandmother 19 years ago last month. Amanda has been at basic training for the Army for a few months now.   Hard to imagine. When she was little, I used to take her out with her Aunt who was a mere six months older than here. On on...