Sounds of Hope

Everyone has a mother.   Probably most people would say their relationship with their mother was complicated.   I honestly don’t know any mother who is totally worthy of sainthood, except for maybe someone like Mother Teresa.   Yes, she would count.   Not to minimize her in any way, but remember, she never gave birth to a child.   For that reason, she really doesn’t count. I think all mothers need huge doses of grace.   I think our perfect mother, Mother Teresa depended on those huge downloads of God’s grace too.   I remember my mother would say often, “Lord, give me patience.”   I am told that as a child I would repeat her statement saying “Lord give me a patience.”    My relationship with my mother was typical.   It was typical in that it wasn’t perfect.   This is my second Mother’s Day since she went home to be with Jesus.   I know she is happy to be home.   In her later years, probably the last 20, we heard over...

Every few hours last night, I awakened with a start. My mother was on my mind. Nothing bad, nothing good, nothing sad, nothing glad, she was just in the forefront of my thoughts.  My brain rarely stops so usually if I wake up in the middle of the night I have a hard time falling back asleep. My brain is always ready to go. I think it is part of the letting go process. I am beginning to come out of whatever surreal state I’ve been in for the last two weeks. Yesterday it was two weeks since she signaled the end had come. I noticed it first when we returned to the apartment. I am prone to caffeine headaches. I had one that day for the first time in weeks. Like those first tingles when your mouth awakens from the dentist’s Novocain, my emotions and body was awakening. It’s odd this numbness I feel.  While it makes decisions difficult, it has been a soothing anesthesia.  I think I am ready to wake up.  When you are numbed for a medical or dental procedure, you may have ...