I've shared that I was once an optimist now turned pessimist. I've lamented in my previous blog, Storehouses of Snow. I've wanted to scream when people have told me to be patient. Or worse, when they use cliché such, good things come to those who wait or all in God's time, His timing is perfect.
The older I get the more impatient I get. I suppose our view of aging is that we become more settled and more accepting of life. Maybe I am just not accepting that I'm getting older but I'm still ready to conquer the world. Since the clock is ticking and my body is telling me the truth about aging, I'm getting very impatient.
There was a time I felt successful. I have some certificates and newspaper clippings to prove it. If you google my name, you'll find I even made the pages of the NYTimes. It was during the time I was a director of the a very large Senior and Disabled Center in CT. I remember the thrill of getting that job. I remember the first year seeing the Center move from under the direction of Social Services to a department of the town. That made me a municipal Department Head.
There were times I would walk around that building and wonder, how did this happen to me? I would think, yes, that decision to get a degree paid off. Our Center was the show place of the state. I was on the Rolodex of congresspersons, senators, newspapers and the governor's office. I would be quoted in the newspaper on senior issues and testified before the state legislature on issues related to aging. The apex of that experience was the appointment as a delegate to the White House Conference on Aging in 1995.
I don't want this blog to turn into a boast fest nor do I want to whine and complain. But I am impatient. I applied for several jobs yesterday. Seems that the rest of the world doesn't think I still have it in me to conquer the world or even contribute just a bit. I was a bit shocked when I had hardly hit the send button for a job at Thomas Nelson that required a high school diploma and preferred some college that a reply came immediately. I was told that I didn't meet the requirements. I was like what??? Okay, I'm overqualified but I could do a great job for you!
I applied for job where my husband works. I'm probably a bit overqualified for that too. My husband assured me that I would get consideration for that job. I said why do you say that? It's never happened there before? He said yes, and you said you'd never get a yellow Volkswagen and it's sitting outside the house, isn't it?
He's right. It did happen. It seems that when the time is right, good things happen quickly and almost by surprise. Perhaps there will be an opportunity to change the world or at least change someone's world for the better. I've got a lot of energy, drive, ambition, and desire left in me. I hope someone will see that soon.
Until then, I suppose I'll just keep on keeping on - that's a cliché too but when you don't know what else to do, I suppose you just keep doing what you know to do until God opens up another door. I wish God would hurry up with that door!