Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wal-Mart, Target and bodily functions

It’s been a while since I wrote here.  I’ve moved from South Dakota back to Tennessee.  I am sure most of my readers have read my farewell to South Dakota and seen the video but if not, see it here.  It was a sadder exit from South Dakota than I could have anticipated or even thought possible. 

I strongly suggest you read all of this.  Get ready to laugh.  
You'll be sorry if you don't read to the end.

We are settling back into what is familiar and yet, now different.  You can go home, but home is always different.  Today I met with the ministerial group that I was a part of when I was pastor of The Well.  In some ways it seems like that was a very long, long time ago and yet it wasn’t.  Half the folks were people I knew and had shared community with, the rest were new.  They assured me I could come anytime.  I will have to think about that since I no longer pastor.  They listened to my short presentation about my research for my dissertation.  I think those that can, will help me when the time comes to form groups for the research.  I got some hugs and that was good.

I got some warm hugs last night as well.  I had a nice supper with a very dear friend followed by an Aglow meeting.  Saw some dear friends there as well who seemed genuinely glad to see me and know I was back.  Not sure where I fit with Aglow anymore.  I said the same thing when I went to South Dakota though, and they seemed to have a place for me. 

This weekend we’ll make another trip to South Dakota, maybe our last for the foreseeable future.  I told a pastor friend that I’d come and do pulpit supply if she gave me enough notice.  I meant it.  We’ll see if she asks.  When we leave South Dakota this time, there will be no time for videos or even much reflection.  In a U-Haul truck cab will be my oldest daughter, her boyfriend, her daughter, and our SD furniture.  I have no idea where we’ll put it.  In my little red car will be me my husband, my two teenage grandchildren and I.  It will be a trip to remember but maybe not fondlyJ.

Now if you are still with me as I ramble about how my life is going, I hope you are ready to have a good laugh.  For my dear South Dakota friends, you know I had lots to say about life in South Dakota.  While I am not going to start a new blog about life in Tennessee, at least I don’t think so.  But in fairness, I think you need to hear me ramble about Tennessee once in a while.

The first weekend we were here, we were at Wal-Mart, my least favorite place to shop but a necessity at times.  In the parking lot we were facing a full size pick-up truck.  Mama and her adult daughter unloaded their “buggy” (that’s what they call carts in the south, I don’t, but they do) into the truck.  Then Mama, who was probably about 75 climbs in the truck from the driver’s side.  She successfully navigated her butt past the steering wheel, turned around and parked that butt on the passenger seat.  Daughter got in after her and off they went.  We laughed.  My husband said, there’s your first blog about Tennessee.  I said “Yeah, but where’s Bubba?  Certainly there is a bubba in this story?”

But that was nothing compared to what I heard a few days later in the women’s restroom at Target.  Now Target is my favorite store of its type.  I learned in South Dakota why it probably is that way – it’s the straight wide aisles probably the designed by those of the same ilk that designed the straight wide roads in the Northern Plains – Target is a Minnesota company after all.

When I first came to Tennessee and worked in a church office, a parishioner came in and told me she had been sick.  She proceeded to describe in too much detail what her vomit looked like.  I told the pastor and he said, welcome to the south – you’ll hear more intimate details about bodily functions than you’ll ever want to hear.  He was right.  I learned about floater, sinkers, and all manner of other things I never knew.

I was reminded of that conversation while in the women’s bathroom that day in Target.  I was in there minding my own business –pun intendedJ.  The woman in the stall next to me said to her friend who was also in the bathroom, “Did you know you are supposed to poop twice a day?”  Without missing a beat her friend said, “you’ve got to be kidding.”  Then the first woman queried, “do you poop every day?”  The reply, “No, do you?”  Neither of them did.  I was praying they didn’t ask me. 

The conversation between them continued to someone who could no longer eat cheese.  I am assuming the person of which they spoke was lactose intolerant.  As they thankfully washed their hands at the sink, the first woman asked the other one, “What’s your favorite vegetable?”  She said she liked them all.  The first one announced that hers was asparagus.  I don’t know if that led to a conversation about another bodily function or not because they left the bathroom. 

Yep, I’m back down south!!  

1 comment:

  1. Of course, I work in a hospital where you overhear many more conversations about bodily functions than you ever want to hear.

    Even so, I've never ever heard anything like you did!


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