Saturday, April 3, 2021

Sweet and Sour Sauce

The last few days have been like sweet and sour sauce.  I’m not a fan of sweet and sour Chicken or similar dishes.  I’m more of a sweet hot person.  I love pepper jelly and make my own.  Nothing brings a smile to my taste buds like some hot pepper jelly on a gluten free sesame cracker with some lactose free cream cheese.  I don’t indulge in this culinary delight as often as I’d like because frankly, once I start, I keep eating.

But sweet and sour is a better description of my experiences over the last few days.  Rarely do I get to see more than one or two of my children at a time.  Over the last few days, five of my children were gathered in one place.  It was so sweet to be able to see them, give them hugs, and share a meal with them.  This always delights me and brings the sweetest of memories.

Like the cherry on the top, I got to see my youngest grandchild, a little princess named Phaenyx (Phoenix) ElsieDawn.  I held her just briefly, but it was enough to satisfy my urges to hold this newest member of the family.  Then came the great grands!  Those are the ones I see the least.  Times between our visits are long spaced.  Most of them have no idea who I am.  But I know who they are.  They are the sweetest human beings. 

I held the youngest of the great grands, beautiful little miss Ainsley.  As 16 of us enjoyed a breakfast yesterday, her older brother Aiden and sister Amira played around us.  While oblivious to the sorrow around them and not knowing who most of the people were, their happiness sweetened the day.  The other two great grands, sisters Abrella and Tiana also brought us joy and hope that life goes on.

But the sweetness was mixed with sour.  We were there to celebrate the life of Christopher Jason, my 28-year-old grandson who is now in the presence of the Lord.  So tragic.  So sour.  So sorrow filled.  There are not enough adjectives to describe the pain.  Scanning face of his family, his father, his children, and all those who loved him brought harsh reality amidst the sweetness. 

The moment when the sweet and sour mixed was seeing and hugging my beautiful twin great granddaughters.  These girls lost their father.  To see their little eyes, fill with tears, not understanding the magnitude of their loss, and yet experiencing the power of it.  To hug them and feel the love exchange as we smiled for our picture together, brought the sweetest moment.  Sweet and sour mixed. 

The last time I saw these girls they were babies.  This was also the last time I saw their dad.  I remember the hug he gave me.  It was deep and rich.  I told him I loved him and was so proud of him.  He’s gone.  But these girls live on.  At 8 years old, they can not understand.  Their lives are forever mixed as sweet and sour sauce.  Life is sweet and sour.

My prayer for them, for myself, and all of us who grieve losses is that we will remember the goodness of the Lord and remember:

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.